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frequently asked questions

Sometime between April and December 2011, I sent an email from the F1/Road To F1* News/Build Your Own Driver/Doodles* page and my mate Kevin/John/Steve* says he never got it. What the f*ck happened there, you useless bunch of m*r*ns?/Would you mind telling me exactly what went wrong on that occasion? (*delete as appropriate)
In May of 2011 we became aware of a problem that would have affected anyone trying to send e-mails from this site to a friend or to our sub-editor.

The e-mail would appear to have been sent successfully but would never arrive - a bit like Tonio Liuzzi - so anything sent from the news pages (F1 or Road To F1), the Build Your Own Driver pages (again, F1 or Road To F1) or the Doodles pages (for the last time, F1 or Road To F1) would not have reached its intended recipient.

As of December 2011, the problem has been resolved and we apologise for any inconvenience we may have caused either of our readers. Those responsible are now no longer responsible for anything at all. On the plus side, our technical support team is delighted to have resolved the problem in a mere seven months, breaking their previous record by almost a year.

Who the hell are you?
A couple of over-educated under-achievers who get a real kick out of motorsport when it's done properly and feel like sharing that with the world, you lucky people. While creative input is split fifty-fifty, one of us is in IT, which is handy for the technical side of things, and one of us is in town planning, which means that we never get lost on the way to a circuit.

So is this your full-time job then?
This might all seem highly slick and professional but it's just a hobby really, albeit one that vacuums up swathes of our time better than anything this side of Grand Theft Auto. An extended period of time between jobs gave one of us an insight into what it would be like to spend all day doing this and it were great.

Why do you use all those aliases?
It struck us as funny at the time and just sort of stuck. If you want someone to blame, that "Scrutineer" bloke in "F1 Racing" gave us the idea and the very first alias ("Jason Bunton") but we stopped reading that magazine a long time ago because of Peter Windsor.

What are you on, exactly? And can I have some?
Other than spicy food and Nastro Azzuro, it's just high-octane petrol fumes. There are plentiful and free supplies at your local race track, so go and watch some racing. You'll love it.

Are there any jobs going?
Afraid not. Should we ever work out a way of earning money from this set-up, we'll be pocketing the profits for a very long time before we're anywhere near rich enough to consider employing someone. That said, if you feel you could contribute something for absolutely no money at all, contact the sub-editor and we'll talk.

Do you design web sites?
Not really. In the past, a few bits and pieces have been done under the dotdotdotcomma umbrella but most of our spare time is taken up with this site, so we couldn't promise to give great service. If, however, you wish to commission a project that involves minimal work and startling remuneration, ask the nurse to ring us on your behalf.

Why don't you pay me/my dodgy company to promote your web site?
Oh, just piss off and stop clogging up our in-boxes, you tedious little leech.


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